Mixed Emotions
by x-kitty-x
Summary: th book based.. ONE SHOT FIC...Sirius' Funeral and some people are happy he's dead?.. Reviews Welcomed..


***I DIDN'T CREATE HARRY POTTER!!! I DIDN'T MAKE THE PLACES OF THE CHARACTERS.. J.K. ROWLING DID NOT ME. I HAD A COUPLE ERRORS THAT WERE POINTED OUT EARLY ON BUT WORKING 40-50 HOURS A WEEK TAKES UP A LOT OF TIME AND I JUST NOW FIXED IT.. SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION AND ENJOY.***   
  
There Harry Stood at the foot of a newly dug Grave with a casket that laid just over the hole. He wore a black robe and under the robe was a suit that he had to buy specially for today. Clinched in his left hand where a bouquet of rare black roses and in his right a mirror like his own he had broke in his dorm only whole and undamaged; it was Sirius' half. He picked the color of the roses out not because of the occasion, but for what he remembered him as; Padfoot, and Snuffles. Tears didn't flow from hie eyes and she showed no emotion surrounded by a group of other Wizards; like him, all dressed in black robes. Looks on their faces were mixed emotions. Most looked happy, pleased and almost satisfied, but the rest of the few looked upset; knowing the truly fine man they had lost to this world.   
  
To Harry's right was Lupin, who was also dressed in black, although they had patches of grey and slightly un-raveled at the bottom. Emotionless, but harry could see in his distant weak face, and fatigued eyes that he deeply missed the last of his boyhood friends known as 'the Marauders' and Harry could understand to some level on what he was feeling. Like he had no one in the world. His parents he never knew killed and Black whom he had only known for three years was being buried for the same reason his parents where.. Protecting him..  
  
This made him think who would be next to go.. Would it be him.. Would it be Ron, Hermione, Ginny, or even Dumbledore. Voldemort was back and everyone knew that he was, yet Sirius was not cleared of his crimes even after Harry's pleas with the Ministry at a hearing while he relieved his story to them. His scar was still tingling sense Sirius' unfortunate end knowing that Voldemort was still pleased with what he had done although he was now exposed to the Wizarding World. He had come to hate his scare.. It seemed to be a mark of death to all around him and he slowly became distant from the others.  
  
Looking to his left se saw in the back of the group was the Weasley family including Fred and George all with new robes that were most likely bought by the twins being successful in their new Joke Shop. Hermione was sobbing on Ron's shoulder but he was too upset to push her away from him. Professor Snape was standing next to Harry on his left and against his own will. Orders to protect him sense Moody was called out of town on Azkaban business. Sense the dementors rebeled against the Ministry a lot of voulnteers who were skilled in certian spells were watching what prisoners now were left in Azkaban. Harry let out a slight sigh looking at Snape from the corner of his eye for only a moment. Not one word was crossed between the two and Harry was pleased that Snape didn't have a side comment to make about Sirius before the service.  
  
Then their was Tonks standing across the grave facing him; the one relative Sirius got along with and she looked worse off then he did. Her pink hair was matted and untidy. Eyes baggy from crying and lack of sleep, she no longer looked thin and healthy but she looked as though she had not eaten well in a time. Tears were still seen rolling down her face as Dumbledore placed his hand lightly upon her shoulder dressed in black and harry was not used to this, for he was always colorful and cheerful in Harry's eyes.   
  
A hand was placed on his right shoulder and his head jerked to see lupin looking at him nodding. Harry then shifted his gaze to around him.. All eyes fixed on him as she slowly took a step to the edge of the grave, looking down upon the casket opening it slowly looking at the face of what looked like a sleeping Sirius. He was skin and bones; not like the Sirius Harry remembered. He remembered about a month after the disappearance that a red spell is a stunning curse not a killing curse like Avada Kedavra that in all aspects was a green light and the search was on again.   
  
Harry was never sure what that Vail did or where it takes you but almost nine months later he was found and Harry still wasn't told where he was found. He was right though; his godfather didn't die that night in front of him. From where harry stood it looked as though it was malnutrition or dehydration is what brought him to his end, but to Harry it was devastating. Like he was told, he would have wanted to go out fighting and yet he didn't. Alone and starving probably thinking his friends would find him any time and he would be alright; then when no one came the abandonment he must have felt. Like no one really cared for his well being. He still though that with a small shread of hope, that Sirius would pop up and make a crude joke making everyone but Harry mad.   
  
Placing the mirror upon his chest. He still though that Sirius would come if Harry just called for him. He had fixed the mirror he shattered holding it close to him as he slept saying his Godfathers name until he fell asleep every night. Even the Dursley's cut him slack over the summer holiday. Closing it quickly fighting back the tears with a choking sensation in his throat as he then placed the black roses on the top of the permanent grave of his Godfather.  
  
As the casket was lowered into the ten foot hole, the rain began to fall. The crowd began to scatter and as they were leaving some mumbled about his false accusations. Harry and Lupin were soon alone at the site. Harry looked back to Lupin who was still silent looking down back at Harry, "Well best I get you back to the Dursley's before they begin to celebrate." Lupin then turned and begun to walk away sloshing his tattered shoes in the mud, grass combination, but harry spoke for the first time during the whole day, "did you.... love him Lupin?"   
  
Lupin was then silent for a moment not sure how to answer, "of course I did Sirius was like a brot..." he was shortly interrupted.  
  
"you know what I mean.. I've noticed it over the last few months" he looked away slightly into nothing before continuing, "I'm not as young as I used to be Lupin and I can handle how you felt for him."  
  
Lupin then lowered his head to the ground turning back into the direction he was heading before harry stopped him, "I did.. I never told him though. I didn't know how he would react if I did. Siruis being my only true friend was so important to me I couldn't risk it if he pushed me away for my feelings."   
  
He started to slosh off again and Harry felt more sad for Lupin then he did before but didn't know how to comfort him in this. It was, odd how his feelings were but he thought of Lupin no different then before. Harry turned to follow but stopped after about ten feet looking at the stone hedge that he and Tonks agreed upon. It read, "Sirius Black A.K.A: Padfoot & Snuffles... Beloved friend, Godfather, and cousin." next to the hedge was a large sculptured dog Harry had bought that looked identical Sirius' Animagus form. Heavy hearted and still doubting this all a dream he lowered his head and sloshed behind Lupin.. 


End file.
